


(you’re someone who knows) someone i once knew

by ShippingEverything



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: (muffled, Hanschen And Thea Are Siblings, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Sort of single father Hanschen?????, Teacher Ernst, i was experimenting with stream of consciousness stuff and here we are, idk - Freeform, in the distance), sad-ish?, sort of a break up fic but not really?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingEverything/pseuds/ShippingEverything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ernst isn't 15 and in love anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(you’re someone who knows) someone i once knew

**Author's Note:**

> or: why i shouldn’t listen to marianas trench while writing.  
> Modern au, Teacher!Ernst, Father!Hanschen, sad-ish? hopeful ending??? also au where hanschen has family in the country that would let him live w them???? idek okay
> 
> written for a prompt: “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified."

Ernst has this box, under his bed.

It’s- It’s not like, _porn_ , or anything, but it’s in a discreet white box so that his friends _think_ it’s porn.

It’s full of notes and pressed flowers and pictures and a single crumpled up letter, and Ernst likes to pretend that he doesn’t check it every other week to make sure it’s still there, to make sure that Ernst didn’t just dream up those months and-

And this isn’t the right place to start.

Once upon a time--and those are the right words, because even now, it feels like a fairy tale--Ernst was in love.

Or, well, it might not have been love? But when he looks back, everything seems so _nice_ , light and airy and filled with happy fuzzy feelings, and he likes to think that 15 year old Ernst _was_ in love.

But, anyway, 15 year old Ernst met this boy. This boy had hair the color of spun gold and eyes the color of cornflowers, and this boy was handsome and smart and attractive and a complete and utter _dick_.

 _Well_ , 15 year old Ernst would say with a laugh when anyone mentioned it, _It’s a good thing I like dicks then._

And-

That’s not the way to start either.

Ernst--26 year old Ernst, who has to field questions from the single mothers of his students and his parents on why ‘such a _nice_ young man’ hasn’t gotten married yet--resists the urge to run a hand over his face.

Okay, so, Ernst did a lot of dumb stuff when he was young and one of those dumb things was Hanschen Rilow.

And that wouldn’t be an issue, because everyone makes mistakes and he got all the cool friends when they ‘broke up’ or whatever, but it _is_ an issue because Calliope Acker’s father is _Hanschen Rilow_.

“I didn’t know you had a daughter,” Ernst says evenly after about eight minutes of silence, because this _is_ a parent-teacher conference and they’re not going to get much done if Hanschen just keeps staring at him like that.

“I,” Hanschen says, then, “Yeah. Her mother had a business trip this week.”

“Well, that’s. Nice. That you get to spend time with her,” Ernst plasters on his teaching smile. “Now, about her fighting…”

He runs on autopilot for the rest of the meeting. He knows that sometimes when he looks down at his notes, Hanschen is still looking at him, the way he used to.

“Hey,” Hanschen says at the end, “Maybe we could-”

“I’m very busy these days,” Ernst hears himself say and it _aches_ , but Ernst isn’t some confused teenager without any other options anymore (Of course, _now_ he’s a confused 26 year old with very few options, but Hanschen doesn’t need to know that).

“Okay. It was nice seeing you again, Ernst,” Hanschen says as he stands to leave, and he sounds _sincere_ and Ernst can’t stop himself from saying,

“I still have your letter.”

Hanschen freezes, “Ernst, I’m-”

“Don’t, okay?” Ernst says, squeezing his eyes shut, “Don’t say you're sorry. Just, why?”

Ernst doesn’t elaborate on the question, because there are _so many_ he wants answered. ‘Why did you leave me?’ or ‘Why didn’t you ever come back?’ or ‘Why did it terrify you, why did _I_ terrify you?’ or ‘Why did you send a letter, you could’ve just texted me.’

“Ernst, I was _so scared_ ,” Hanschen starts and-

“That’s not a good reason, Hanschen. I was scared too, and I didn’t fuck off to the countryside and break up with my boyfriend by having my _sister_ give him a fucking _letter_.” Ernst runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. _Inhale, exhale._ ‘ _I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified_ ,’ the letter had said--still says, in that box underneath Ernst’s bed--and 15 year old Ernst had read those words and cried because he was in love and Hanschen was in love and _Why didn’t it work out?_ Why didn’t he get his Happily Ever After?

But 26 year old Ernst teaches third graders and rarely cries over dumb boys. 26 year old Ernst knows that Happily Ever Afters don’t exist. 26 year old Ernst knows that you just get an Ever After, full of pain and sorrow and maybe some niceness, but there is no Happily in the real world. 26 year old Ernst grabs his papers, stands up, and nods at Hanschen.

“I’m glad that we’ve found a solution to the problem, Mr. Rilow,” He says, even though Hanschen’s face falls, “I hope that Calliope will have a nice year.”

“ _Ernst_ ,” Hanschen starts, grabbing his arm. Ernst shakes him off and starts walking. Ernst isn’t over it, but... he’s a step closer.

He gets home, takes the box out, and grabs his pack of emergency matches.

And, you know, there was once this guy and his neighbor almost called the cops on him because he was burning some box on his balcony.

Now _there's_ a good starting point.

**Author's Note:**

> alternate thing for u to think about: a multichap fic with lots of flashback and pov changes and background ships, where hanschen woos ernst over the course of the school year and eventually they give it another try  
> i mean im not gonna write it, but one of yall could.
> 
>  
> 
> [i'm always a slut for prompts](Http://www.bisexualwilliampoindexter.tumblr.com/)


End file.
